so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
