I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
