K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
