Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The adults are the big ones right?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
