yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
