Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
