i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He passed out mid-signature
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
