I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I showed him my bush... on skype.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
