you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
