Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry jbwhazup hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave

Fav 11 5623 910
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?

Fav 19 1387 5886
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(951): View more from California

So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.

(909): View more from California

dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?

Fav 43 7381 1442
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people

Fav 13 5218 1015
share tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(517): View more from Michigan

All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.

Fav 12 3612 1792
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.

Fav 3 1094 732
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(706): View more from Georgia

I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit

Fav 4 2140 735
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...

Fav 4 893 586
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"

Fav 1 17 32
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT