just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
His nipple licking is glorious
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