My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
