I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
