Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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