yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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