its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
