I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I will pee on everything he values.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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