just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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