you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
