so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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