There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
