pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dignity is for republicans.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
