Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize