Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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