apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
