the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
