I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
