pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
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