I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
