So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
