awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
