there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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