U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize