She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I looked at my own cervix.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
