am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize