i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize