this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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