when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
