I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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