I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
