kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
