How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
