Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize