Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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