wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Dicks are not precious.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
