if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
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Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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