My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's never too late to be topless.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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