I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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