Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
