I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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