It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
