Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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