I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
