didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
