well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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