normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
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I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
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And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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