Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
