Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
