I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize