idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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