I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
